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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?